once again (free write) :)

I started writing the beginning of the story so called the assignment but I'm feeling like i need to do this at home when I'm focused and dont have any distractions around me so I'm going to write a quick sample of my weekend. Needless to say, my weekends are always filled with so much excitement and new things to talk about the following Monday. Friday my best friend from Forest Lake came down and we began the weekends just as always. We went to my friends apartment in Newport and his dad is in jail for the moment. Hes been there for the past few weeks so thats where we all have been going. It has been quite the time to party. Friday night was once again very fun but no drama. Its been weird because nothing really big has happened the past couple weekends and I like it that way in a "way" lol . I'm so use't to having something to talk about. I stayed there for a few hours and then my friends gf came to get us and dropped us off at my new "boyfriends" house haha. I guess you could call him that. All my friends got kicked out because his roommate was sleeping and had to wake up early the next morning but, of course I stayed back. it was quite interesting. Him and I has a very nice talk, a talk like we never had before and I felt in tuined to what he was saying. I finally got what I wanted you could say. I'm not so sure if this is going to be healthy for me though because I already feel like shit about the whole thing. I think this is why I usually don't have boyfriends, its just way to stressful and I think I'm happier when I dont have extra baggage. But I do believe in karma and I think it has something to do with my actions Saturday night when I wasn't thinking about what I was doing. Ugh I hate this shit, I really fucking do. BULLSHIT!!!! anyways Saturday we went to the same place. I'm getting really sick of people and their stupid ignorant ways. I find myself non stop around people that sound so stupid when they speak and they have no idea what their talking about. I wonder if they feel the same way about me? I think to myself how could they possibly think I'm ignorant?? It could be that way but I doubt it :) Overall this weekend was very fulfilling until Saturday night. How could I? I proved myself wrong once again. I was not right about what I thought about myself. It really pisses me off. I think I'm the one who surprised myself more then anyone else and since its me I get more upset but, I think thats the way it is with everyone. People beat themselves up the most when they mess up and I think thats how it should be. It shows that we really do have more respect for ourselves then what people come across as. It really shows when we fuck up. I think thats kind of interesting very much so. Well, its a new week and its almost my birthday. I can't wait! I was suppose to be on crutches for this one but I talked my mom out of the surgery once again. I know it has to be done but I just cant stand the thought of walking around on crutches during winter break. How horrible! I need to be able to walk especially for New years :) I feel things crashing and coming down but, Im not going to let it happen this time around especially for 2009. This year has to be good. As I get older it just seems to be getting harder with everything life comes with. My mom always told me this would happen. Well, I'm keeping the wall up this time and nothing is going to make it fall down. I feel very anxious right now about things and I cant wait for it all to come out in play. Sometimes I feel like a little baby learning how to walk. You have to fall over and over again before you can walk and this is how it's been my whole life. Things don't just get handed to you. You have to work hard and try over and over again before you get the prize. If that's what it takes to have a fabulous life and what I want then so be it. I had my friend come see me. I use't to hangout with her all the time. She is so different from me but we always seem to click and talk about just anything. Shes married now and lives in Winona with her husband. But I was thinking its so funny how I can have all these friends and just one day your not friends anymore and you can see them somewhere and have absolutely nothing to say to them. Its really sad how people come and go in and out of your life. And all the friends I have now most likely I wont see them in a few years and everyones going to go their seperate ways. I hate it but thats the price you pay in havin alot of friends. But, every memory with all of my friends is another snapshot to put in my photoalbum. My mental photoalbum :)